bits of a letter
para Robbie Heuston
...I gave up the meds and sadness slowly starts to kick in again. The sun doesn´t do much to me anymore. I´ve been seeing it go down every single day by myself and my darlling it´s been so cold. It´s funny I never thought I would feel like this again. At least I´m not a teenager anymore. Back to the track, to the line of thought, I´ve been losing it. I don´t allow myself to talk much, to feel much. I am not been able to contain it anymore. My heart feels heavier than I remembered. Oh those meds, Those fucking meds, I miss them, They gave me peace for a while...
...I was such a fool to think that the world could be great, That I could turn myself into one of those happy people with the white fence and a dog. I was full of life, full of myself; but now I am just a fool. An ordinary fool. I still don´t regret it. I don´t know why I don´t, but I don´t. I couldn’t have done it any better. That, actually, was my best, my very best. Can you believe it? And I think I had to quit because I just couldn´t push myself any longer, any further, any harder. My mind is tricky fucker, or perhaps just a slow one for realizing it all now, actually in this very particular moment, that is taking forever to go away. The clock keeps ticking. I hope I will be able to hope after midnight. Oh god I can´t believe I am crying already. Writing makes me feel better, makes me see things and makes believe that what is in the paper is no longer in my heart...
...I talk to you, in my bedroom, sometimes, like you are a dead person or something. I look at the pictures, I read the old letters and fill in my afternoons with if´s and maybe´s. Sometimes I even see you walking down the streets, and I fear; Because you are not dead but in all the same you are not real anymore. You are just a memory hunting me down. I always knew this would come, but my life got a life of its own, it was rushing in my veins, rushing to live and now I guess my car crashed. Daddy always told be me not to speed on red lights.
oh my darlling
I can answer Morrissey now: My body rules my mind and I am still Ill
...I gave up the meds and sadness slowly starts to kick in again. The sun doesn´t do much to me anymore. I´ve been seeing it go down every single day by myself and my darlling it´s been so cold. It´s funny I never thought I would feel like this again. At least I´m not a teenager anymore. Back to the track, to the line of thought, I´ve been losing it. I don´t allow myself to talk much, to feel much. I am not been able to contain it anymore. My heart feels heavier than I remembered. Oh those meds, Those fucking meds, I miss them, They gave me peace for a while...
...I was such a fool to think that the world could be great, That I could turn myself into one of those happy people with the white fence and a dog. I was full of life, full of myself; but now I am just a fool. An ordinary fool. I still don´t regret it. I don´t know why I don´t, but I don´t. I couldn’t have done it any better. That, actually, was my best, my very best. Can you believe it? And I think I had to quit because I just couldn´t push myself any longer, any further, any harder. My mind is tricky fucker, or perhaps just a slow one for realizing it all now, actually in this very particular moment, that is taking forever to go away. The clock keeps ticking. I hope I will be able to hope after midnight. Oh god I can´t believe I am crying already. Writing makes me feel better, makes me see things and makes believe that what is in the paper is no longer in my heart...
...I talk to you, in my bedroom, sometimes, like you are a dead person or something. I look at the pictures, I read the old letters and fill in my afternoons with if´s and maybe´s. Sometimes I even see you walking down the streets, and I fear; Because you are not dead but in all the same you are not real anymore. You are just a memory hunting me down. I always knew this would come, but my life got a life of its own, it was rushing in my veins, rushing to live and now I guess my car crashed. Daddy always told be me not to speed on red lights.
oh my darlling
I can answer Morrissey now: My body rules my mind and I am still Ill
postado por Marcela. | 14:36
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